Finals

My first final is in approximately in 6 hours. Man, I hate school!

I love it but at the same time I hate it.

Ride Along

While I was rushing through the side streets of Atlantic Avenue, heading southbound, trying to make it on time for my ride along appointment with Long Beach Police Department. I quickly tried to recall the procedure Sergeant Bob Kisner explained to me. He said, "Be there at least fifteen minutes early and park in the parking structure, if you plan on staying after 6pm you won't have to pay for parking." I made a right turn on Ocean Boulevard, trying to locate my destination and experienced a moment of uncertainty. Driving in downtown Long Beach can be a challenge for some. For one reason, there are so many one-way signs, which can easily get you frustrated, plus there can be a substantial amount of traffic. Next reason, there is never anywhere to park your car for free.

I get to the Long Beach Police Department headquarters in downtown Long Beach. The building was located on West Broadway and Magnolia Avenue and is part of the South Division. I park my car in the structure like instructed and walk to the building. I was dressed in warm and comfortable clothing, but avoided looking like a slob. I made sure my shoes were comfortable and I had my warmest jacket. As I walked in I scanned the lobby and made eye contact with some fussy civilians and headed toward the front desk to inquire about my appointment made for my Ride Along. I had to wait and felt like I was neglected and so I insisted on speaking to one of the officers managing the front desk about my ride along appointment. The officer gave me an application to fill out and informed me to wait.

Waiting patiently, I look over the people in need of police assistance regarding many things. I glanced at a few people inquiring if there situation was worth a case. There was a group of four Filipino elderly people coming in to make a report about something. A wild, older lady alarmed the officers of her dying son and demanded justice. Many others seeking times and schedules of their loved ones being sent free from being incarcerated a long term or short term sentence. A variety of waiting and watching the public, and their circumstances subsided my waiting. After thirty minutes of observing, I ask the officer where the nearest vending machine was located. She directed me to the nearest vending machine in the parking structure. I mentioned to her if it was alright if I leave my application at the front desk while I go and get a soda.

The boredom encouraged me to take a walk and grab a soda. I looked over the dingy vending machine and made my selection. Opening my coke, I hesitated for a bit concerned if the soda would spill all over due to the carbonated substance. After the soda calmed I opened it and drank merrily. Strolling back to the building I followed up with the officer about my appointment. He mentioned that they are calling an officer from the unit and is waiting for an officer to come to the building. I took another swig of my cola and decided to play online poker on my cellphone while waiting for my ride-along. I thought about all this waiting and asked myself, what is the point of making an appointment if I still had to wait. Slowly but surely my officer approached me while I headed to the front desk for another appointment follow up.

Officer Juan Avila was my officer that evening and I followed him to the police vehicle. I got into the car and looked about my surroundings. My officer described the computer system and the agenda for the evening. Our mission that evening was to follow up with registered sex offenders in the South and West Division. Officer Juan was armed and ready to work. He is currently part of the felony unit in the southern division. Officer Juan worked in gang units and narcotic units in the passed. He has been involved in the force for about 16 years and seems to be satisfied with his career choice. Along with working the unit or the field he is also a training officer for new recruits. Officer Juan had a few stacks of papers with sex offenders profiles, containing photos, drivers license numbers, address of residence and other important information. I was definitely intrigued by our mission. I shared my experience with Officer Juan about my encounter in regards to a sex offender. He offered to look up my ex-boyfriend on his savvy computer system in the vehicle, whom I had to press charges for certain reasons and indeed we saw his profile. He said, "He's actually on my list." Jokingly, he offered to take me to his house to follow up on him but I profusely refused.

As I scanned the paperwork on sex offenders, Officer Juan asked me if I smoked. I replied, wearily, "just socially." We pulled up to a cigar lounge on Third Street and he said, "I gotta stop here and take a smoke break." We get out of the car and he greets the regulars as they puff on there cuban cigars in the patio and mingles with them for about 20 minutes. I remained an observant of my officer's social behavior and tried my best to fit in and listened intently to their small talk conversations. After a few more minutes of minuscule chatter, Officer Juan and I got back into the vehicle and he humorously admitted, "We cops Bullshit a lot." I giggled and smiled.

After our social encounter with the cigar smokers, Officer Juan asked if I was hungry and if I liked McDonalds. I answered, "Sure, I haven't been to McDonalds in a long time." We drove to the drive through and ordered our meals and as I pulled out my debit card he insisted that that was not necessary. Pulling up to the cashier, the cashier instantaneously refused payment and we get our free happy meals. I relunctantly remembered giving police officers a hefty discount when I used to work as a waitress in my younger adult years. That experience helped with my college starving moment.

The mission started as we headed to our first destination. Officer Juan instructed that I was going to be a Parol Officer for the evening and to stand behind him at all times just in case someone was armed and fired. With my temporary title I followed Officer Juan to the site. Many of the sex offenders were old, poverty stricken, mentally absent or disturbed. Officer Juan and I were doing compliance checks to make sure these individuals were currently living in the address registered. Sex offenders must register for the rest of their life. Their information can be found on a public government website called, www.Megan'sLaw.gov provided with photos, addresses, description of charges and other information. On one of the compliance checks, Officer Juan read our next sex offender's charges. Public display of masturbation was this sex offender's charge. And again, I shared my experiences with perverts and their disgusting displays of masterbation. Those incidences were embarrassing to recall and he told me if someone ever does that again to just call the cops. Facetiously, Officer Juan called me A Weenie Wacker Magnet!

During the ride along I asked Officer Juan a series of questions regarding his job, stress management, greatest fear of a cop, benefits of being part of a huge public service, compensation, and other topics that crossed my mind. I asked these questions primarily, because as a college student that works and attends school full time I entertained the idea of becoming a cop to put me through school. His opinion to that topic was positive and encouraged me that many of our officers are educated and have become attorneys. I thought about it even more and asked,
"Whats the hardest part of the academy?"
He answered, "its different for everyone, I found it most difficult in the exams."
I added, "I'm not so scared of the exams, moreso the physical training."
He replied."Don't worry about that, just think when you finish you'll be in the best shape ever."

As the evening progressed, I absorbed the idea more about becoming a cop. And as our night concluded, Officer Juan drove me to my car in the parking structure and gave me his business card just in case I had any questions about joining the force, and such. He purposely mentioned not to lose his business card because it had his cell phone number on it and I played along and replied, "Yeah, or else a Weenie Wacker will come after you." We ended our venture in laughter and I greeted him joyously for the upcoming holidays and drove home.

Cruising in the Convertible

These are pictures from hanging out with some of my best friends!

Enjoy!

tears led to clarity and vision

I had a dreadful four day weekend off from work. It was the longest Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday of my life. I carefully made sure that I would not run into my mother this whole weekend, who too, was off from work. Darn!

Why the avoidance? I clearly, tried to evacuate from any form of contact with the woman. Why? ugh...

Its a money issue. Sadly, my humble, little family, has been struck and victimized by this awful economy. Bush I hope your happy! Asshole! My savings have been completely wiped out, due tooo? who knows what? failed Avon business, record high gasoline prices, (thank- God for the breather, we are at a medium of $2.25 a gallon) added expenses, and an uncontrollable, untamable desire and need for coffee. Yes, I overdid it, on the Latte Factor, David Bach, tuition fees, books, oh baby... the list goes on.

So my little avoidance scheme did pretty well, til the last day, I assumed my mother was planning to go to work that Monday evening. With this screwed up economy, her hours probably got cut too. So she was home asleep, when I came home from school, thinking I was off the hook. I took advantage and got on the computer anxious to see what job sites were offering.

Surfing the web, and discovering all these wonderful job opportunities, I get hit! BAM! WAM!
"When are you going to give me money Khrrrissstinaaa???!" she yelled.
Subconsciously, rolling my eyes, I timidly replied, "...this Friday..."

Oh man, I was a perfect target! She got me. Our argument slash discussion fumed for about an hour. I cried.

Its been a while since I've seriously cried. Tears were most likely caused by frustration, pain, anguish and bitterness.

Noticeably, all of these emotions have been building up. Tension was circling our home, my room, my car, the workplace and admittedly church too. I wasn't surprised. I have been alright for the last year or two barely making it financially, till the economy really started to affect us.

I thought, I was going to fall into another element of depression, but fortunately, I gained strength from that whole argument. I hate feeling like the victim in these arguments. Honestly, I do. My family, needs me as much as I need them. Since I am the oldest, I need to step it up a notch. In doing so, I cried some more and made a quick phone call to my dear friend Erika.

I quickly expressed my pains and she automatically put a smile on my face. Like she always does.

After our conversation, I went back downstairs and continued my job search. Wow! and when I saw this I couldn't believe it either! There was an opening for Department Secretary for the city of Los Angeles. The paying salary was like 3000-5000 a month. Which for me is terrific. I was so happy to see that!

I did other research and looked at various Law Firms in the LA/OC area and saw and opening for HR Assistant. At this point, I'm totally stoked out! My eyes were gleaming of hope and excitement. After all that job searching, I decided to check in for the evening.

Almost every evening, I always curl up with a book and snuggle with my downs comforter, and just read. The book, I gravitated to was, "The Positive Principle Today" by Vincent Norman Peale. He wrote the best selling book, "The Power of Positive Thinking." I have had that book for some time now and haven't had the chance or need to read it. I read about 10 pages and then continued to reflect on my life, my relationships, and my dreams. The fight that went on earlier dawned on me and clearly that argument was a blessing in disguise. It fueled my passion!

I began dreaming of my journey as a successful woman, with a bachelors' in Business Administration and Real Estate Law, a masters' in Business Administration and along with all that to top it all off, a judicial degree. Hopefully, I'll be able to teach part-time in Los Angeles, be a part time real estate agent in a brokerage that I own, help do research for a law firm that my husband, will own and manage, and drive my mom out to see me, with a choffer included. And buy her a Subway franchise too. Plan vacations with family, plan shopping trips to New York, Paris, London with the bestest of my girlfriends, and plan to live and be happy and never to forget to strive for what is in store for myself and anyone part of me. These thoughts emulated my mind, with clarity, peace, hope and forgiveness of myself, for not trying harder and for my mother, who only strengthened me til it hurt.

And I felt so great and positive inside that I had to write this blog.

Goals!

What's crazy about life is that you always have goals, but for some reason we can easily lose focus and then before we know it our goals change. Our goals usually change when we subconsciously feel we cannot reach them, when our circumstances limit ourselves and when we are just plain bored out of our mind and we simply cannot stay focusd.

Some of those mentioned are part of our characteristics that remind us of how much growth is necessary for us to even get a little closer to our goals. Our goals give us a blueprint of what our journey to stardom may be like. Of course this blue print is nothing of the real thing and that is why we need to stay focus on getting to the destination or the completion of a product to figure out our results.

Many of us don't even have goals. Sadly, its true. We haven't conditioned ourselves to think about what we want to achieve. We have yet to evaluate our strengths and weaknesses and our passions and aspirations.

The saying is true about complacency is murder. Once a person or being is complacent there is not progress, no growth, and no maturity. That is how many of us are living day to day. I write this to express my anger and frustration!

It is a waste of God's divine creation to not execute what is divinely and rightfully ours. Many of us are searching and longing for a way out. But the reality is, the only way out is to set yourself free. Open up your mind to the potential the Universe has to offer. I find it in my own personal experience to fathom such a deep concept. But amazingly, I'm not alone! There are some who don't even have a clue and can't even get beneath the surface. Getting to a significant goal is deep!

It takes hard work, dedication, perseverance and patience.

Leasing Consultant

Hi, I just decided through the help of my mother and her divine wisdom to look for a better and more fulfilling job.

I work at Macy's and don't get me wrong, at least I have a job. I'm super thankful. However, I deserve so much better! I do! I know I do!

I saw a job opening on career builder. I seriously hope to get a phone call from them asap. Its a position for a leasing consultant. I suppose I would be leasing apartments for a property management company. It sounds like a good job and filled out an application on one of the links on the website and I really hope they call me back!

I'm so capable of the job! Please Lord help me get that job!

I need to start making more money!

Overdrawn

This last quarter, financially has been a tough one. Not just tough, but very difficult. I am seriously having the hardest time that I could cry right now.

I have been struggling with managing my finances for as long as I can remember. Its been annoying and extremely stressful. I've cut back on eating out during the lunch hour, not buying coffee I don't need, not driving to places that is not necessary and still no progress.

However, for almost 1 month, I have had progress. I wasn't over drawn. I was barely staying afloat. But man, I'm working and I can't even have enough for anything these days. I'm seriously thinking of really downgrading my phone plan for something cheaper. Like, less than 40 a month. What else can I do? I could get another job. Doing what? I just took a look at a bank, and Bank of America is hiring, hmmm... well, I guess I don't mind being a teller. Bank of America is looking for someone in Long Beach, area near Willow and Daisy for 20 hours a week.

Ok, I'm over it! I need to update my resume and just take care of business!

fall semester 2008

This semester will be a real treat. All the while, I'll be able to meet and greet so many folks in my school, because I am going to be a networkaholic. I have to! This is my hustle and I have to make sure I sell as much Avon as I can. Of course, I can never forget the Golden Rule. Work less (time) and make more money! I know its definitely doable. I hope the Lord can bless me with enough strength to finish this semester with good grades and more cash.

The goal is to get at least 10 new customers from school, 10 new customers from the gym, 10 new customers through the internet, 10 new customers from everywhere else. Hopefully they all can buy a shit load of Avon and not give me a hard time about it.

This semester I'm taking computer information systems 1 and sociology 121, which is, human sexuality. Just 2 simple classes. I know I can kick asses in those classes. I don't even plan on buying the books. I hope they have the books on reserve, just in case I'll need to catch up. However, I'll just look online and take a lot of insane notes. I can't afford to go to school and go bankrupt.

If I want to go to Spain next summer I'm going to have to cut every freaking corner I can to save for my trip. I am also going to have to get straight A's so that way I can increase my GPA and that will help me get into the Honors Program.

Well thats the plan. Work out 3 times a week. School 2 times a week. Work hopefully only 3-4 times a week. If I can manage it. Church, family, friends very flexible.

Getting Stuff Done

Well after watching this guy named Gary, I've finally gotten very motivated, which is what I sincerely needed. I thought I was just getting very lazy! But finally I got a taste of someone who expressed this need, desire so passionately and clearly that it definitely gave me a burst of energy. And its very rare to find people who share the same wants and desires. I don't care how long this energy will last, I will savor it and take full advantage. My life is based on hard work and accomplishing the impossible. Ha ha ha at least one day it will. I'm all in it for the journey.

So today, I will by pure L.u.c.k... (Labor Upon Correct Knowledge) create a an attractive sense of well being that will take me to the next milimeter to my journey of the success and absolute freedom. I don't know how exactly but I'm going to let our Lord of this universe guide and direct me. Its awesome to ponder that you can have utter control of your life and ruin it so badly and on the flipside allow the Lord who is the truth to lead, you can do anything!

Today will be a day of focus and pure dedication. Not an ounce of time will be wasted.

Laundry, drycleaning, gym, room cleaning, working, reading and observing, smiling, no time invested in things that are not important, be socially aloof, be assertive!

I'm so happy!

in 6 weeks!

The thought of teaching my own seminar allows me to feel empowered, driven and audaciously intelligent. I'm no expert, however I do a ton of research as it is in becoming an expert. I'm always usually the first to know what skincare or cosmetic product hits the best sellers, or what wins what. Thats my job, with this type of knowledge and passion, I plan on writing books and beauty articles for major fashion and beauty magazines. So in the mean time to fulfill all of these dreams, I plan on teaching a seminar on beauty and business at the local university for Free! It will be for about 1-2 hours with how tos, demonstrations, factual information on women in business and how our looks can get us where we want to go. Yes, totally inspirational and wonderful. I'm thrilled.

Wish me luck!